Sunday, August 21, 2005
ur the first the very first that i love so dearly...but i'm unable to capture his heart...i thot i had already capture it but eventually he still choose her in the end...the hurt u have coz is there but the love i have for u overcomes the hurt why i oso dunno...u wan me to say everything out to u? why do u wanna hear it why do u wanna see me cry infront of you? why...u know that its very hard for me to say everything out to people esp U...i really wanna tell u how i feel i really wanna let u know how much u meant to me i really do... but whenever i face u the words just simply refuse to come out...all these maybe u will nv get to know... i'm a strong ger on the outside but very weak on the inside...i have lost myself... lost entirely...change person...evil heart...hate...fake...u name it i have it -sigh- i feel like screaming...i feel like crying....i feel like throwing temper but all this are done in the heart sliently only i can hear it no one else...i have drop my tears again...suddenly i'm thinking again...all the things that happen everything has change me...to be a better on or WORST? argh i dunno wat i'm saying... my heart as messy as this...argh fuck up life screwed up life i hate myself i hate love i hate studies i hate loneliness i hate it.... i feel like leaving here to a far far far away place nv return...and even in a far far far away place hurt may still be there...quit school...debarred...expel...get killed...run away...den u will not feel bad for hurting me anymore...haiz argh argh wat the fuck am i saying FUCK UP LIFE!!!!!!!!! MEANING-LESS DEATH? LIFE? SAD!
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