Monday, August 22, 2005
Everyone can see There's a change in me The all say I'm not the same person I used to be Don't go out and play I'll just dream all day They don't know what's wrong with me And I'm too shy to say It's my first love What I'm dreaming of When I go to bed When I lay my head upon my pillow Don't know what to do
Sunday, August 21, 2005
ur the first the very first that i love so dearly...but i'm unable to capture his heart...i thot i had already capture it but eventually he still choose her in the end...the hurt u have coz is there but the love i have for u overcomes the hurt why i oso dunno...u wan me to say everything out to u? why do u wanna hear it why do u wanna see me cry infront of you? why...u know that its very hard for me to say everything out to people esp U...i really wanna tell u how i feel i really wanna let u know how much u meant to me i really do... but whenever i face u the words just simply refuse to come out...all these maybe u will nv get to know... i'm a strong ger on the outside but very weak on the inside...i have lost myself... lost entirely...change person...evil heart...hate...fake...u name it i have it -sigh- i feel like screaming...i feel like crying....i feel like throwing temper but all this are done in the heart sliently only i can hear it no one else...i have drop my tears again...suddenly i'm thinking again...all the things that happen everything has change me...to be a better on or WORST? argh i dunno wat i'm saying... my heart as messy as this...argh fuck up life screwed up life i hate myself i hate love i hate studies i hate loneliness i hate it.... i feel like leaving here to a far far far away place nv return...and even in a far far far away place hurt may still be there...quit school...debarred...expel...get killed...run away...den u will not feel bad for hurting me anymore...haiz argh argh wat the fuck am i saying FUCK UP LIFE!!!!!!!!! MEANING-LESS DEATH? LIFE? SAD!
Thursday, August 11, 2005
i have seen it and heard things i think i should not be hearing but these parts and pieces match out to a full picture that i conclude in my heart...i thot happiness was with me but i was entirely wrong...happiness was nv with me but sorrows...ur form of happiness is only with her? ha my guess only ba...In the end ur decision is still HER? should be ba...my instinct is NEVER wrong...from the way u treated me haiz...know how much hurt i have...although the feelings is still there but everyone has been telling me things that i dun wanna hear i only wanna believe and hear wat u say but in the end the outcome is still this way!!! i miss u i truly do...eveytime i see u with her i simply lost mood plus quiet-ness...filled will thots...many many!! i'm a simple ger too simple that i'm un-conparable to a pretty one.... TRUTH: dislike
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